Antonio Banderas absent for part of Melanie's battle with addiction
Actors
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith have been married for 15 years and while they look happy, it's been a long road. Both agree that their love is strong, but they differ on a darker aspect of their marriage -- Melanie's addictions -- and just how much involvement he has in her recovery.
In an interview for the November issue of
AARP The Magazine, the recent
ALMA Award winner and his wife viewed how their family handles Melanie's alcohol and drug addiction quite differently, especially Antonio.
He told the magazine, "We've never hidden it. We've been very open about addictions in the case of Melanie."
The actor said the toughest part has been the "pretending" that happens when their children -- they have a daughter together, Stella, who will be 15 on September 24, -- and Alexander, 26, and daughter, Dakota, 21, became inquisitive, creating a "very dark place" for the kids and the marriage.
Banderas, 51, also said that he has supported his wife through her third and most recent stint in rehab two years ago. "We did all the therapies together," the actor said about his and their childrens' participation.
Melanie, however, had a different tale to tell about her husband's involvement, saying, "I'm sorry to say, that's in his mind. ... I started on pain pills when I hurt my knee skiing and just kept taking them. The kids knew; Dakota and Stella called me on it. Antonio was in London at the time. I went away to rehab for three months; it took 10 days just to detox. We had two family weeks there, but we didn't follow through."
The 54-year-old actress defended Antonio saying that he's as supportive as he can be without understanding her battle with alcohol and drugs, and how it runs deep in her family.
"Antonio was supportive to the extent that he can be, but if you're not an alcoholic or drug addict, and you find out that your wife is a bad one, it's hard to deal with. ... I wish he would go to a meeting with me or to Al-Anon, but it's very foreign to him. Addiction runs in my family but not in his.
"I don't mean that against him. I would like him to do more, but it's a difficult thing to have happen in any family, and in that way he has been totally by my side. He really is the greatest guy."
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Antonio Banderas
These are the latest photographs of Spanish megastar Antonio Banderas.
>> Click on the image to see the gallery
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Antonio Banderas
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya, and director Pedro Almodovar attend ''The Skin I Live In" premiere at Embassy Cinema. NON-EXCLUSIVE September 20, 2011 Job: 110921X3 Rome, Italy www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com [Camilla Morandi]
Antonio Banderas
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya, and director Pedro Almodovar attend ''The Skin I Live In" premiere at Embassy Cinema. NON-EXCLUSIVE September 20, 2011 Job: 110921X3 Rome, Italy www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com [Camilla Morandi]
Antonio Banderas
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya, and director Pedro Almodovar attend ''The Skin I Live In" premiere at Embassy Cinema. NON-EXCLUSIVE September 20, 2011 Job: 110921X3 Rome, Italy www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com [Camilla Morandi]
Antonio Banderas
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya, and director Pedro Almodovar attend ''The Skin I Live In" premiere at Embassy Cinema. NON-EXCLUSIVE September 20, 2011 Job: 110921X3 Rome, Italy www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com [Camilla Morandi]
Antonio Banderas
From left, Spanish director, Pedro Almodovar, Spanish actress, Elena Anaya, and Spanish actor, Antonio Banderas, pose for the photographers in front of the Unknown soldier monument during a photo call presenting their movie "The Skin I Live In" in Rome, Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2011. (AP Photo/Virginia Farneti, LaPresse) ITALY OUT
Antonio Banderas
Spanish director, Pedro Almodovar, left, Spanish actor, Antonio Banderas, kiss Spanish actress, Elena Anaya, during a photo call presenting their movie "The Skin I Live In" in Rome, Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2011. (AP Photo/Virginia Farneti, LaPresse) ITALY OUT
Antonio Banderas
ROME, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 21: Actor Antonio Banderas attends the "The Skin I Live" photocall at Piazza Venezia on September 21, 2011 in Rome, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto Ruscio/Getty Images)
Antonio Banderas
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas poses on September 21, 2011 during the promotion of the film "The Skin I Live In" by Spanish director Pedro Almadovar in the center of Rome. AFP PHOTO / TIZIANA FABI (Photo credit should read TIZIANA FABI/AFP/Getty Images)
Antonio Banderas
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas poses on September 21, 2011 during the promotion of the film "The Skin I Live In" by Spanish director Pedro Almadovar in the center of Rome. AFP PHOTO / TIZIANA FABI (Photo credit should read TIZIANA FABI/AFP/Getty Images)
Antonio Banderas
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas poses on September 21, 2011 during the promotion of the film "The Skin I Live In" by Spanish director Pedro Almadovar in the center of Rome. AFP PHOTO / TIZIANA FABI (Photo credit should read TIZIANA FABI/AFP/Getty Images)
Antonio Banderas
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Comments
(272)Add a comment
5 23 09
By teri
she should consider herself lucky. 3 stints in rehab? most guys would be long gone
Reply
5 23 09
By betty
Keep in mind vows say for better or worst and when you truly love each other you stick together and addiction is like cancer it is a disease and love and understanding ,treatment starts at home all my love and prayers go out to their whole family
5 23 09
By kaschap28
Addiction may be a disease, but recovery is a choice, you can't just get medicines and be better. Nobody should have to suffer with an addict for the rest of their lives. You may love someone deeply, but you have to love yourself and take care of yourself or you're both screwed. I agree you need to work through things and really make an attempt to make marriage work. But when is enough, enough?
5 23 09
By CGee
Right! Plus this is what you call Karma, he dumped a beautiful, talented wife in Spain for this train wreck and now he has had to live with it,Mel is lucky he has stayed with her,3 times in Rehab means she has no will to work on kicking it, I feel sorry for Antonio and the kid's. He gave up a great career in Spain for her too, he now does mediocre U.S movies.
6 24 09
By Ozzi
Quit complaining Melanie. It's not all about you.
0 25 09
By sky
I was thinking the exact thing! The addicts usually cause so much havoc and grief to those who love them, so selfishly.. give me a break!
5 23 09
By Jimbo
They seem like good, down to earth celebs, I wish the best for their family.
Reply
5 23 09
By dael orlandersmith
this is her THIRD stint in rehab and she's saying that he can't be there the way SHE wants?.. i think it's what the AA calls a 'dry drunk'.. no longer on drugs but still with the same addictive/ selfish personality.. SHE has to learn to de d independant .. how much more does she expect him OR the kids to do.. he's been with her for fifteen years and I'm sure there are times when HE is fed up and wants and NEEDS time to himself . addicts ARE selfish people and i DO understand the DNA and how additiction runs in families and how it is a disease- totally -but it CAN be dealt with and that person has to deal with it and NOT rely on someone else . She wants Antonio and her kids to be her'DRUG"- they can't and shouldn't . Three times in rehab with him. She was ALSO in rehab when she was with Don johnson.. SHE has to work it through
Reply
5 23 09
By noprfilevr
I agree with most of what you say. I was married to an abusive alcoholic for 20 years. I was unhappy from the day after I married him but I believed in that 'til death' bull. Then I realized after his third stint in rehab and after he continued his sick behavior that his weak garbage was destroying me.
I have a real problem with the concept that alcoholism is a 'disease'. In my husband's case, it was a choice. He didn't think there was anything wrong with him. He had three chances to get clean and he didn't.
Now, 19 years after that divorce, I still am traumatized by the crap that came from that toxic person. Luckily, I've had zero contact with him for those 19 years, but that's mostly because he died 12 yrs ago from disease caused by his chain smoking and alcoholism.
She's lucky he's stayed with her. She seems incredibly addicted to EVERYTHING, and she doesn't seem to make the effort. She just 'blames' everyone else - her family history, her own weakness. And to blame him for NOT being from an alcoholic family? That's just crap. He's doing the best he can and she should be ashamed of herself, after putting her family through so much trauma to blame THEM for what she perceives as lack of support.
5 23 09
By janet pomponio
I would have to agree with everything you said. They end up getting addicted to the help. I has been long enough where it has to be betwwen her and God.